In honor of my 41st birthday ... this is my big long life list of advice of 41 tid-bits I've learned in the last 15 years.
All this time, I've been learning to thrive and survive chronic pain, become an entrepreneur and business owner, become a mom of two, and figure out how to be the most authentic, compassionate version of myself.
OK here we go ...
A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles.
Prioritizing your unique personal needs isn't selfish.
Build your own personal success team (therapist, coach, dr, sisterhood, etc)
We need to build skills, but sometimes we might also need pills.
You overcome obstacles one tiny little micro teeny step at a time.
Let your faith be bigger than your fear.
Absolutely everything is progress.
Eat well, stay hydrated and move your body.
PROTECT your sleep.
PROTECT YOUR HEART.
Be curious.
Think of everything as an opportunity.
Two things can be true at once.
Be brave, and sturdy.
Be your own advocate (nobody else ever will).
Boundaries are a form of love.
De-center men, and instead, center yourself.
Build and invest in your communities (in-person and online).
Share your story.
Absolutely everything is figure-out-able.
Perfection isn't the goal - progress is.
Because absolutely everything is progress.
Bodies change (they're supposed to, we're living, breathing beings).
Change is the only constant. Get comfortable with it.
Let them.
Wear sunscreen and a big ass hat when you're outside (don't forget your neck, chest, and top of your hands.)
Don't speak negatively about yourself - even as a joke. Your body doesn't know the difference.
It's never too late.
Trust the process.
What someone else does or thinks - has nothing to do with you.
Empathy before judgment.
Learn to enjoy the space between where you are and where you are going.
Be the reason someone feels welcome, seen, heard, validated, and supported.
There is no “right time”, there is just time and what you choose to do with it
Wisdom is healed pain.
Observe. Don't absorb.
Your direction is more important than your speed.
Be the woman you needed as a girl.
Start before you are ready.
Happiness is a FEELING, not a goal.
All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good.
Here's my BIG ASS BONUS ... if I was going to give anyone advice on anything in life, do this, please ...
Anytime you feel a lot of BIG FEELINGS - like you get triggered - you feel angry, extremely overwhelmed, offended, frustrated, want to rage, etc, here's what I want you to do:
Remove yourself from the feeling - YOU are not your feelings. Your value and worth don't change. Feelings are not permanent. This feeling will pass.
Swap out your feelings of shame, self-judgment, and guilt - with CURIOSITY. You're literally going to think, "Huh, that's interesting that I feel this way right now." And each time you feel shame or guilt about your feelings - you keep saying to yourself, "Aren't you interesting." Say it out loud, say it in your head - it doesn't matter. Just think those words to yourself. (YOU ARE PRACTICING; this is a practice).
That's it.
And if you're like me and you really want to take it up a notch (and I'm also going to say - you're working with a professional like a therapist or a coach - hell, I have BOTH) ... Keep going with these next three steps:
Start to pay attention every time you feel those feelings and what's exactly going on in life when you feel that way (use your phone's notes app and write it down)
Look for the patterns, and keep documenting in your notes app.
Explore the information you've collected about yourself with your therapist. (OR talk to your close friends, inner circle, life coach etc).
This is healing, growth, self-love, radical acceptance. 🫶
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