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How to Write Facebook Ad Copy that Actually Converts

OMG this is one of my favorite parts about ads - writing the copy.

It's like playing a game. Let me show you what I mean by telling you the story that happened to me last week while working with my friend Carly from Family Tree Notebooks.

Carly has built an AMAZING business. Her customers LOVE Family Tree Notebooks. Why? Because their goal - her customers/her audience - is to make their family history book. Carly's business, Family Tree Notebooks, helps you get that done in 60 days or less. She's created digital pages that you fill out with your family research, add any photos, print them out, and boom, you've got your very own family history book. Cool right?

I've been bugging her for months to let me help her get some Meta ads up because I know they'd WORK. She's already organically very successful. Her audience are all on Meta platforms (like 55+ women, Meta dream come true right?!). Carly is an expert at making content and an expert at her craft, genealogy. Last week we finally got an ad up!

Carly's ad goal was to get new email leads.

And we can do that because we know that "Leads" is an ads objective. She also already had created multiple lead magnet offers, and we went with the most popular one - 10 free pages from her Family Tree Notebooks system. There are probably thousands of pages that she's created, and this lead magnet shares the 10 most popular ones. It's a perfect way for someone interested in genealogy to start to get acquainted with Carly's system without any investment outside of sharing their email address. Easy, breezy. The best kind of offer for a lead gen ad.

Once you opt-in to get the free 10 pages, the user moves into a lovely email Welcome Sequence. Carly already has SO MUCH VALUABLE education, resources, and information that people who are trying to build their family history books are chomping for the bit for. So we're sharing videos from her YouTube page, we're inviting people to join her amazing Facebook Group (ummmm hella-freaking-loooo over 11,700+ members), and get going even further with your family history book with her best-selling page bundles and masterclass course.

We are literally just giving the people what they want.

If you read the reviews on Family Tree Notebooks, you'd cry. So helping to further help people fulfill this deeply personal wish - to build these family history books and share them with their family and leave their legacy - ack! It's that just the best?

The best part about this ad is the creative.

Carly is an expert at content creation. She's been in this "make it up as you go along" digital entrepreneur world with me for a long freaking time. Fun Fact: She was previously a Disney Wedding blogger like 15 years ago BEFORE Disney even had a blog.

OK so she made this very simple video for her ad - and it's perfection. It's just a close up of her flipping through the finished product - this is the BIG FINAL RESULT that this audience wants. Carly's offer - of 10 free most popular pages - is the next right step to getting there.

And this is the copy she wrote, up at the top - "Start with 10 free pages!". This is what Meta calls the Body Copy. And then the "Finish your family history" is the headline. When you click learn more, you go to this email opt-in landing page where you sign up for your 10 free pages.

Once the user opt-ins, Meta counts that as the Lead, and therefor the ad has worked. OK so next up, how much was it going to cost Carly for each lead? I was guesstimating anywhere from $2 to $6 per lead. And if those users all converted to buying something from Family Tree Notebooks at some point, that should be well worth it for Carly.

Does that make sense? Let me repeat it one more time - if Carly pays $6 to acquire a new customer, and then that customer spends $30 at Family Tree Notebooks, that is a WIN for Carly. That is positive ROI.

Out of the gate, after Carly turned this ad on she was getting a CPR (cost per result) for her leads (the email opt-ins) for $2.61. Pretty great!!

Let's examine the copy.

OK so alllllll of the parts of this ad campaign, WORK. However as I was reviewing it, I felt like some things could be improved on the copy.

Let's review it again. Pretend - you're scrolling along in your feed and you get hit with this! Do you know what it is? Does it make you want to stop scrolling, and investigate it further?

As I'm reviewing this, we're using the word "family history" two times which is great. That's what the people want, to finish their family history. I love the bold (and truthful) claim "2 million" sold. That really tells me that whatever this is, must be working for people since so many pages have been downloaded. I'm visually SEEING what it looks like - the finished book - so that's great.

And then looking at the first line - "start with 10 free pages" - kind of makes me think, huh what are we talking about? Like are the pages these pages in this book? I think so? I get that this is a family history book, but I think I slightly still feel confused. What do you think?

OK now let me tell you what I ended up doing. And BTW let me just say - THIS IS ALL COPY from Carly's website. I did not write any of this. This is not any original thoughts of my own. All I did was take snippets of things that she already wrote on her website, and put them together in priority order to get this entire concept to all make sense for the user in 2 seconds.

Always start with a punch.

Just like with organic content, your ads ALSO need a hook. Your 1st hook will ALWAYS be your creative. Carly nailed it with this video and its thumbnail with the "2 million" part. Chefs kiss. Now the copy needs a hook, and we have two spots to make that happen.

OK right here at the top, this is your Body Copy section. I generally always comb client's reviews and testimonials to get ideas, and you should do this too. Your customers POV are pretty much brilliant. And when I saw this sentence it really hit me, which is exactly the feeling we're going for. "Finally - an organizational answer to my genealogy!!!"

BOOM! Mic drop. You KNOW if someone uses 3 exclamation points they're serious!!! 🤣 THIS is the most perfect way to say EXACTLY what's going to happen to your life when you sign up for these 10 free pages.

The Headline, which is at the bottom of this ad placement next to the call to action now says "Get our 10 most popular pages free!" I wanted it to be crystal clear what they're signing up for, and that its going to cost them nothing.

OK now let's review the rest of the copy. We've captured their attention enough to click on the add. They're either going to click on the call to action button "Learn More" and move on to opting in. OR they need more information, so they'll click on the add which will open it up so you can see the full ad copy.

Here's the rest of what I did to the Body Copy - the story I crafted:

  1. Here's what this system - these pages - are going to do for you AND how fast its going to be.

  2. You've already got everything you need to do this, now you just need these page.

  3. Get these pages, AND ALSO get this other amazing, valuable stuff to help you on this family history journey!

  4. And to wrap this up - let me tell you exactly what to expect next - which are emails full of GOODIES.

I further clearly laid out the story of Family Tree Notebooks to the potential new customer. And now it reads even more clear and powerful, which is what makes people convert!

OH ALSO - I love an emoji when it makes sense. With copy, it needs to be so stupid easy to read and take in - or sometimes you need to jazz things up - and emojis can help that process. So use them as it make sense.

Well guess what happened?

The cost per result (CPR) dropped down to ONLY $0.55 PER LEAD.


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